Feeding Time at the Zoo - Crocosaurus Cove Cage of Death

If the idea of climbing into an acrylic tube and being lowered into a pool of 16-foot saltwater alligators is your idea of fun, then you should by all means head on over to Crocosaurus Cove in Darwin Australia, where you can do exactly that. Soothingly dubbed "the cage of death," the tube is large enough to fit two people -- which is fortunate, because I'd need to hold someone's hand.

World's Most Relaxed Monkeys - Jigokudani Monkey Park

What's better than bathing in a Japanese hot spring? How about watching monkeys bathe in a Japanese hot spring! At Jigokudani Monkey Park in Yamanouchi, wild Japanese macaques hang out in the naturally heated water all winter long, working out those knots as visitors observe them relaxing.

Cutest Tower Ever! - Fairview Goat Tower

Goats like to climb things, and the owners of Fairview Wine and Cheese Farm in South Paarl, New Zealand, wanted to make the goats they kept happy, so the solution was simple: build a goat tower. Sounds crazy, but it works. The more than 1,000 goats of Fairview blissfully trot up and down the spiral staircase every day, then produce milk that makes award-winning Camembert.

So the moral of the story is: If you build a goat tower, they will climb it. And make you delicious artisanal cheeses.

Oh, Deer - Nara Park

Credit: Amusing Planet

Think deer are skittish animals that run at the first sight of humans? Think again. At Nara Park in Japan, the deer do run -- but it's right toward you. Especially if you're holding one of the deer cookies that are sold around the park. Because it turns out that cookies are more delicious than grass.

There are about 1,200 free-roaming deer in the park, and they're believed by the Shinto to be messengers of the gods. Messengers or not, these deer want their snacks. Deer eating cookies -- doesn't get more adorable than that.

Land Before Time - Dinosaur Place

You never know where you might come across a dinosaur. For example, you probably didn't think they'd pop up in southeastern Connecticut, and yet that's exactly where you'll find a whole bunch of them, in all their life-size glory.

The Dinosaur Place in Montville features 40 realistic-looking dinosaurs along a shady trail that runs through a park. All of the dinosaurs stand still in their designated places, except for one, the animatronic Dilophosaurus that's tucked away in a cave. There's a sign outside the cave that warns visitors that this attraction may be frightening for small children, and after going in to view it myself, my conclusion is that they need to make that sign larger! My blood ran cold at the sound of its screeching, and when it spat "venom" at me, I almost fell over in terror. The thing is positively evil. So maybe stay away from the Dilophosaurus if you've got a heart condition.

Going Ape - Gorilla Trekking

Credit: JJ King2

If you find yourself in Rwanda with nothing to do and $750 to spare, maybe you should go on a gorilla trekking safari. You'll spend a few hours with a group of other primate enthusiasts, hiking through the rainforest and looking out for silverback gorillas in the wild.

Sounds right up your alley? Stalker. But I can't say I blame you - I'd go on a gorilla trek in a heartbeat. The only problem might be that gorilla troops tend to move around, and it may take your group several hours to find one. The trek may also involve hiking up steep slopes. So do your push-ups before you go. And maybe leave the bananas at home.

Buggy Nights - Waitomo Glow Worm Cave

Credit: paraskhnio.gr

I don't know about you, but I prefer my bugs cute and glow-in-the-dark. Not a fan of earthworms, for example, but glow worms I love. Which is why I'm remortgaging my house to pay for coach tickets on a 24-hour flight for the whole family to Waikato, New Zealand, where thousands of an indigenous species of glow worm hang out on the ceiling of Waitomo cave, doing their glowing thing.

Full disclosure, though: Glow worms aren't really worms at all, but a type of fly larvae. And it turns out that the luminescence comes from their excretory organs. You can see why the New Zealand tourism board went with "glow worms" instead. Still, the revolting truth won't be deterring me from viewing this natural wonder, and if you consider yourself an animal lover, you'd be wise to do the same.

Hello Kitties! - Aoshima Cat Island

Credit: NBC News

If you're a cat lover looking for a quiet island getaway for your next vacation, have I got the place for you. Aoshima, an island located in Japan's Ehime prefecture, is home to more than 120 feral cats that outnumber the fishing village residents six to one. A few cats were originally introduced decades ago to keep down the mouse population on the fishing boats, and things have since gotten adorably out of control.

Outsiders are allowed to visit, but the island isn't really geared for tourism. There are no restaurants, hotels, Uber cars or much of anything really, besides the undoubtedly rueful residents and the cats who run the place. On the plus side, there are definitely no mice here. Or cheezburgers, for that matter.

Holy Tigers, Batman! - Tiger Temple

Zoos are neat and everything, but the animals are always so annoyingly out of reach. Tigers, for example, are always behind two sets of bars, a low wall, and a moat. What's the worst that might happen if we were allowed to pet the tigers a little? Besides an imminent and gruesome death, I mean.

Well, it turns out that maybe death is not imminent after all. At Tiger Temple in Kanchanaburi, Thailand, visitors are allowed to hang out with free-roaming tigers that were brought to the sanctuary to be raised by Buddhist monks. Are these tigers drugged? Beaten? Cat-shamed? Nope, none of the above - in fact, a recent raid by the concerned Thai government revealed that the tigers are actually perfectly content. They don't attack their visitors simply because they're well-fed and well-adjusted. Of course, my house cat is also well-fed and well-adjusted, and he's attacking my ankles for seemingly no reason as I type this, so visit at your own risk.

Health Code, Shmealth Code - Japanese Cat Cafés

If you're the sort who likes a sprinkling of cat hair in your morning coffee (and, c'mon, who isn't), then the cat cafés of Tokyo may be your cup of tea. Cats literally roam these coffee shops, twining through the legs of customers, peering aggressively at their shoelaces, and generally being their intensely-cute selves. Patrons pay a cover fee to sip a hot beverage of choice while they play with the resident kitties.

There are many such cafés all over Tokyo, ranging from straightforward Starbucks types to more whimsically themed places such as Temari no Ouchi. The first cat café actually appeared in Taiwan, but has since been enthusiastically embraced by the Japanese - AND, in answer to my fervent prayers, cat cafés are scheduled to open all across the United States this year. Health codes were a pesky hindrance that delayed their existence in this country until now. So cat lovers of the U.S., rejoice. Or, if the idea of sharing your morning cuppa with a herd of cats creeps you out, then maybe this blog isn't really for you. Get outta here ... scat! Scram!

No Mousetraps Allowed - Karni Mata Temple

Now here's a real game changer. You know how when you see a rat, your instinct is to grab your hair, scream, and run in the opposite direction? Well, at Karni Mata temple in Deshnoke, India, which is inhabited by approximately 20,000 rats, your goal is to get one of the little critters to scamper over your feet for good luck. These rats ain't vermin - they're reincarnated locals. So put the glue traps away and show some respect.

Plates of milk and sweets are left out to attract the mice to visitors. I'm a big-time animal lover, but I'm not sure I'd be able to handle this place. My cat, on the other hand, probably dreams about visiting Karni Mata the way I do the Taj Mahal.

Best. First Date. EVER - Ithaa

Want to impress that special someone in your life? Here's how it's gonna go down. Step 1: Grab said special someone and jump on the next flight to Maldives. Step 2: Make reservations at Ithaa, located 5 meters below sea level. The restaurant, which is reached by descending a staircase enclosed in a tube off of a dock, offers diners panoramic views of the Indian Ocean while they dig into their seared fillet of reef fish. Step 3: Reap the rewards.

The only hitch is you'll have to deal with hundreds of sea creatures giving you the evil eye as you chow down on their cousin. Okay, I've given you the tools. Now use them.

Don't Be a Baby - Diving With Sharks

Swimming with dolphins is for babies. Grown-ups swim with SHARKS. And not while safely enclosed in a wire cage, either. Wire cages are for babies. Grown-ups swim with sharks in the OPEN WATER. If you are a grown-up, you'll do well to fly to Long Island in the Bahamas, where you can sign up to descend 30 feet into the water and watch sharks being fed in their natural habitat.

So how do you make it out of this activity with all your limbs? The idea is that the sharks are eating the chum being given to them, so they won't eat you. Foolproof, right? Just don't sue me if you try out this activity and get ripped to shreds. I am only the messenger. You're the person who let a blog goad you into swimming with freakin' sharks.

What the Neck?! - Giraffe Manor

So at Giraffe Manor in Nairobi, Kenya, you get to sleep in four-poster beds, take in sumptuous multicourse meals, and, oh yeah, have breakfast with a giraffe. Literally. I'm talking you're buttering up your freshly prepared scone and suddenly Geoffrey's head is coming through the window and he's yanking the baked good right out of your hands. And guess what, you can't even yell at him or whack his butt with a rolled up newspaper because it's a giraffe sanctuary, and giraffe abuse is definitely frowned upon. All you can do is admire those dangerously long lashes while he puts away your gourmet breakfast.

If being taken advantage of by a giraffe is your cup of tea, fork over a mere 600 bucks and stay a night. The manor itself is gorgeous, and a herd of giraffes roams freely on the estate, sidling up to you as you stroll the grounds and poking their heads into rooms like the freakishly tall peeping toms that they are. There's even a family of warthogs on the grounds. I know. It's impossibly adorable. If you haven't already left this blog to look up airfare to Nairobi, I have nothing else to say to you.

Not So Tough Now - Jellyfish Lake

If you told me there's a place where I can swim with jellyfish and not get stung, I'd tell you that you're shadier than a Craigslist posting. But it's true. Jellyfish Lake on the island of Palau is an enclosed body of water that contains hundreds of the suckers, sans stingers. They have no predators in their private lake, which is why they've lost their natural defenses over the course of millennia. Save your urine for another aquatic emergency.

So go ahead: Mosey on down to Palau, slap on some snorkel gear, and jump in Jellyfish Lake. You can make faces at them all you want - they can't get you back. Evolution is cruel like that.